In Search of Happiness

Yesterday was international day for happiness, which left me feeling a bit glum.  Like all people, my preferred state of being is to be feeling happy, but there have been many times in my life when that has definitely not been the case and it seems to me that there is even more emphasis on the search for happiness now than ever.  It is a poisoned chalice and an ever moving target.   As society we tell ourselves that we will be happy if we have the right job, the right house, enough money, a baby, the latest gadget, a holiday to the Maldives, a shiny new car, meet Mr/Ms Right, if the weather was different, if we were thinner/fatter/taller/shorter, had a smaller bum, could bench press an elephant, retire early, climb Everest, or win a gold medal….

The list is unattainable, endless and of course only ever seems to lead to more disappointment when we realise that even if we are lucky enough to go on to own that house/car/baby we are still the same person underneath with the same hopes, fears, dreams and worries.  In today’s society where we want it all by yesterday and are constantly over-exposed to everybody else’s edited version of ‘happiness’ through social media this quest often feels like an exhausting race that we cannot win.

Happiness like sadness is just a feeling, and like all feelings we can’t expect it to last forever, nor would we want it to.  Although I want my child to be happy, it is more important to me to teach him that sometimes he won’t be, and that is OK.  As a parent I want to help him learn to manage his expectations and reactions when faced with disappointment as much as I want to praise him and encourage him to strive to be the best version of himself he can be.

Our fundamental happiness is what lies underneath all of this.  To feel content in our own company and in the present moment. To accept our flaws and strengths. To enjoy and appreciate the happiness when it comes, and not be sent into despair when it ends. 

There are many things in my life that if I stop and think about them for a moment, make me realise that I am happy on this fundamental level.  If that is what international day of happiness serves to remind us then that is fine, but if, like me, there are many more things every day that make you question that happiness and you woke up yesterday feeling particularly lost and lonely, then remember that is normal too.  Maybe one Wednesday in three months’ time that will change and when it happens there will be no international band wagon to jump on. Maybe nobody else will be around to notice or care about it.  The important thing is that when it happens you do, and that you enjoy it for what it is, when it is.

The goal of yoga is to learn to separate your fundamental being from the deceptions of the mind.  It is a difficult and lifelong process, but it is one that has certainly helped me to regain perspective on whatever drama I have been sucked into within my life, psychological or otherwise.  If we can learn to observe the ebb and flow of our emotions with detachment and stay more focused on the present moment, we can stay in touch with that inner core of our being.  Even if you’re not a yogi, the rising popularity of mindfulness practice has taken this concept and made it ‘popular’ for all age groups.  This is a sustainable version of ‘happiness’ that I think we can all get behind.

A moment of happiness (NB. a storm started 2 minutes later and we were drenched but that didn't look as good on Facebook!)

A Woman's Prerogative

The end of 2016 is approaching and change is afoot.  Once more I am taking a detour on life's path and will be starting a new job in January which means I will need to change how and when I teach yoga.  I'll be keeping my early morning class and private clients in the evenings, but won't be able to do my other group classes as I'll be working as (wait for it) a Library Assistant at the local school.  Didn't see that one coming did you? Well neither did I, but the job came up, I enjoy working in the school and as my plans for the next few years have developed in terms of where I want to take my life next, I have realised that in order to get where I want to go I need to make some changes.  This latest adventure should give me the opportunity to do that in a way that fits with regular family life whilst giving me a steady income and routine and it felt like the right thing to do at the right time.  It has come with much angst though. Am I doing the right thing? Am I heading in the right direction? I've come so far, am I throwing it all away? How will I keep up my teaching and practice? I don't know the answers to all those questions yet but I am willing to give it a try.

I'm certainly not walking away from yoga entirely. It's a means to an end and I'm busy planning retreats, regular weekend workshops and short courses to keep my teaching hours up and myself inspired.  Maybe I'll even get the chance to do some yoga and mindfulness sessions with the kids, or better yet, the teachers!

I do, however, frequently laugh at myself and feel like I must look like a complete lunatic to most right-thinking individuals.  My life so far has gone off on all sorts of crazy wonderful tangents and lead me to meet some pretty amazing people and learn some valuable lessons along the way.

My life in pictorial form!

My brother jokes that has never known someone who changes their hairstyle more often, and my husband frequently despairs at my seemingly random choices.  It got me thinking about the women I admire, both through personal acquaintance and in the public eye, and how often what I love about them is the way they seem to have fearlessly changed direction in their lives in pursuit of their art or their dreams.  It's why stars like Beyonce, Madonna, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga and even Victoria Beckham continue to capture the public's attention.  They are not afraid to try something new, be it in fashion, music, career or relationships and constantly reinvent themselves.  We find ourselves drawn to their stories, outfits, haircuts and relationship disasters because we recognise something of ourselves in them.

Biologically and socially women are built (or perhaps conditioned) to live this way - we have to constantly change and adapt to the roles we find ourselves in either by choice, accident or necessity as we move from daughters to students, girlfriends, wives, career women, mothers, grandmothers etc etc.  We are master chameleons, but the changes are not always easy.  The transition to motherhood (even if you keep the career bit) is often particularly difficult.  One day it seems you are writing essays on Shakespeare or typing up a lab report, the next you are earning good money in a shiny office, wearing nice clothes and shoes, having 'adult' conversations, being taken seriously, presenting your ideas in a boardroom, stopping for a cocktail on the way home with friends, eating in nice restaurants.  Then, boom, suddenly you find yourself smelling slightly of baby sick, spelling your name phonetically to the nice person at the bank, pointing out trains and swans to random strangers in the street, being able to clean up anything with a packet of wet wipes, constantly forgetting PE kits and counting the days until it is socially acceptable to give your child fish fingers and chips for tea again.  What happened? How can I be both of these people? Why am I doing a terrible job at trying to still be both of these people at once? What shall I do next?  These are the questions I at least asked myself and I don't think I am alone.

The female role models in my life that I aspire to be like have all been seemingly unafraid to change direction. There is my Mum who stayed at home to look after me and my brother whilst Dad was pursuing his naval career, then started at the bottom and retrained when I went to secondary school to get her degree and become a housing manager.  There is an Employment lawyer who left her high powered corporate job and now runs her own international etiquette training business for luxury brands and sings in a rock choir.  A single mother who found her way back from a traumatic childhood, failed marriage and many hard years of financial difficulty and false starts to become a midwife.  A divorcee who moved back to New Zealand after the breakdown of her marriage to a gold miner, set up then sold a successful chocolatier business and then invested her money in travel and renovating a former hospital into a beautiful retreat by the sea.  A beauty sales advisor who raised her daughter alone, moved to Italy, returned and worked as a school receptionist then as a PA before moving into business development and has spent the last few years steadily building her own business selling her collection of vintage items and beautiful handmade bags.  A friend who has built a successful, hilarious blog chronicling the more 'realistic' view of being a slightly slummy, yummy Mummy.  I could go on and on, and I haven't even got to the civil engineers, former drug addicts, circus performers, lawyers, Tiger Mum's, beauticians, aerobics Queens, accountants, bank managers and general bunch of social misfits I know who have become yoga teachers and continually inspire me with their life stories, whilst now helping others navigate their way through their own journeys.

In summary, our lives as women constantly change and we do our best to balance following our head, heart and instincts to make the right decisions whilst trying to enjoy the journey.  I may never get to make that final metamorphosis into the butterfly I envision, but at the moment I am quite happy using the life I have been given to wander around like the Enormous Caterpillar, trying all the different yummy foods on offer, confident in the knowledge that I have at least got the potential inside me to make that leap.  It might just have to wait until the next life.  So I say, take the piano lesson, learn how to make a decent souffle, speak Portuguese, move abroad, climb a mountain, write your novel.  Do what you need to do to stay true to yourself and don't get downhearted by life's never ending sidetracks.  Instead embrace the traditional woman's prerogative to change her mind and use it to your advantage.  Life is too short to do otherwise and we are lucky enough to live in a society where we can, so let's make the most of it.

The Post Retreat Fallout - some late summer lessons

Tamarind Springs

It has been just over a month since I returned from Santina Giardina-Chard's Wild Women Retreat in Koh Samui, Thailand.  I could not recommend the experience enough.  Santina is an amazing teacher, Tamarind Springs was a beautiful, tranquil, green oasis and I got so much out of working on my physical and personal development in the company of a small group of beautiful, inspiring and supportive women.  It was certainly hard work, but I learnt some lessons that will stay with me for the rest of my life, and I know there will be many more to come.  Here's how each day worked...

The view from my villa

Every morning I woke in my beautiful private open air villa, went through a series of cleansing rituals, made some tea and sat on my veranda to write my journal as the sun came up, listening to the birds begin to sing and watching the bats and the lizards go back to bed.  I would go for a walk around the retreat grounds or sit on top of a giant boulder outside of my villa looking over the treetops and out to sea, feeling my connection with nature and the wider universe. Then I would stroll down the rocky steps to the yoga shala for meditation and Mysore style ashtanga practice under the watchful guidance of Santina who knew how to strike just the right balance between arse kicking and nurturing encouragement to get me working.  Her gentle and intuitive adjustments and refusal to put up with my BS and excuses helped me to find new pathways in my body, creating space that I had given up hope of finding, and inspiring me to find the motivation to take my practice forward by committing to the process.  After that we would neck back a fresh coconut and head to the natural cave steam rooms for a body scrub, steam and plunge pool regime that replenished, cleansed and rejuvenated the body, mind and soul.  Then, finally(!), it was time for a healthy buffet brunch, followed by a couple of hours for relaxation and reading before our afternoon discussion group.  This work was based around the writing of Clarissa Pinkola Estes, in her astonishing and insightful book 'Women Who Run With The Wolves', interwoven with Santina's hard-won wisdom and our own stories, experiences and journalling discoveries.  Mine usually involving some personal enlightenment prompted by an encounter with a creepy-crawly in my villa!  We ate an early dinner followed by more individual reading, journalling and processing which saw me crawl to my bed physically and emotionally exhausted each night, but I have also never felt more alive and connected both to myself, to others, to nature and beyond.

My lovely open air villa. Home to me and 5 million other creatures!

Sounds amazing right? In a scary, slightly crazy, hippy way?  It was.  This particular journey, like all stages of my relationship with yoga has been both wonderful and terrifying.  The big question for me though is always, what happens when you come home and step out of the bubble?  How can you maintain this work and commitment to self-discovery when there are bills to pay, mouths to feed, family commitments, friends to drink with, obligations to fulfil and relationships to live with?  How do you explain all your new-found crazy behaviour to your partner and kids?  How do you find the time to do all these rituals and practices that you know make you feel good, but take up so much time and energy that you cant always find or afford?  Can you actually go back to that life you left behind when you stepped on the plane?  Can you make the changes you want to make without destroying all the wonderful things you already have?  Is that really what will make you happy?  What happens when you think you are on the right track and then something comes out of the blue and knocks you sideways, or worse, right back to where you started?

These are the questions I am working out now.  They are the never ending chatter of doubt and fear that everyone has to live with.  Of course, there are no easy answers.

The universe will keep throwing it's crap at you (for me, just when I commit to doing a regular practice 6 days a week, I have put my back out, discovered I have some serious misalignments that need correcting and that I will need to start rebuilding my body all over again if I'm going to be able to manage things long term).  Nobody else in your life will seem to be on the same page as you.  People will still be flaky and thwart your attempts to move forward.  You will still get sucked into conflicts and the mundanity of daily life with a regularity that often makes you want to scream.  Your partner will still annoy you, and your kids will still drive you up the wall.  You will lose your temper, be hormonal and return to some of your bad habits.  But, you will also begin to observe it all with a slight detachment that makes you realise that you will come out of the other side and that all you need to do is stick on the path you have started for the answers to each new problem to keep coming.

The steam caves

I may not be doing the yoga practice I would like to be doing at the moment, but I have kept up most of those daily rituals (I just sometimes need to take some short cuts or spread them out through the day). I am journalling, and I am seeing people that can help me get back on track physically on a regular basis and as part of a long-term commitment to taking care of myself.   I am trying to be careful about the choices I make and the ways I use my energy and have spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do with the rest of this year and into the next 5 years and have started to put some steps in place to get there.  I am being more honest with myself and with those around me.  Late summer is the perfect time of year to do this kind of work, and I feel really connected with this process.  I am still making plenty of mistakes, but I am going to keep getting up and keep on trying.

If you are feeling stuck, hurt or uninspired then the kind of work I was lucky enough to begin with Santina can be a wake up call.  If I have learnt anything at all since I first rolled out my yoga mat it is that sticking your head in the sand is not a long-term strategy for health and happiness.  When I was away I cried many tears, I laughed many laughs and I had 10 days to think about what I am, who I am, why I am and where I want to be going in the most beautiful surroundings.  It is now my husband's turn and he is currently away trekking in Nepal and I can't wait to hear all about his adventures and discoveries on his return.  These things are never cheap, they are also an incredible privilege that we are particularly lucky to be able to take advantage of due to our current circumstances and location.  That said, no matter what your position in life, there will always be other things you could be spending your hard earned money on, but if you feel a need to be there then you owe it to yourself to find a way.  I believe that if you surround yourself with the right people at the right time in your life you will begin to face up to what is holding you back and learn to let it go.  You will never regret the investment.  You won't find all the answers there and then, but you will start to understand the questions you need to ask and keep on asking, even when things get tough and it would be easier to turn your back on the process.

It may be painful, it may not be perfect, but that is life and it is always worth it.

Leaving the shala for the last time to face the music at home!

  

An Annual Review

This month I have been lucky enough to put the intentions I laid out in my last blog post into practice and spend some time away from home for a week of ashtanga yoga with Mark Robberds in Dubai.  Every time I make the space in my life to focus on my own practice and personal development I wonder why I left it so long since the last time.  The answer is obviously because life doesn't really work that way and before you blink you are back into the old routine, racing along on the same treadmill.  This time, however, I've taken precautions to try and make sure that things work out differently.

Whilst I was away, I read a book that was recommended to me during my teacher training, but which I then totally ignored for a couple of years.  It's called 'Your Best Year Yet' by Jinny Ditzle and it outlines a programme, made up of 10 simple questions, to help you review the achievements and disappointments of your last 12 months and put a simple plan in place with targets for the year ahead.  I'm not a big 'self-help' book fan, but I really enjoyed this process and would highly recommend it.

The premise is that you could carry out the plan in just 3 hours, but I chose to do it over a couple of afternoons (since I was lucky enough to have that luxury). As I worked through the questions, it reminded me of the apprasisal process you go through at work each year, and I thought it made perfect sense to apply that model to our personal lives, with the added benefit that your 'appraisal' will only be used to make the business of being 'you' more profitable.  I wondered, why we don't monitor and reflect on our performance in life each year, bask in our glories and learn from our mistakes, rather than rushing headlong into another 12 months of stress and frustration?  We know it helps to keep us motivated and improve our performance at work, so of course we should do it with the things in our lives which are of more importance.

By working through the questions you end up with a one page plan, that gives you a set of guidelines reflecting your beliefs and 10 clear 'goals' for the year ahead linked to your priorities for personal change and development.  Ditzle recommends that when you are finished, you should pin it up somewhere and read it every week to remind you of your focus.  Better yet, you should share your plan with your loved ones or a friend, so you have the motivation to keep on track (hence this blog post!). You then spend a little time each week breaking those big goals into smaller tasks and activities, so that when you get to the end of the year and look back, all of those things that seemed like impossible dreams have at least been attempted or moved towards, rather than growing dusty in the back of our minds.

I complained in my last blog that I was feeling a bit directionless and this process has really helped me.  If nothing else, making the effort to look back on what you have achieved, is an uplifting process which I am trying to apply to my yoga practice too.  So often we get caught up in what we can't do, believing that things are impossible for us for one reason or another, but failing to recognise how far we have come.  If I never do the perfect backbend, or bind in kurmasana will it really matter? Of course not, but every time I get on the mat and create a millimetere more space, I am opening myself up to more change and improvement in my body and mind and I should be proud of the distance I have travelled, not comparing my progress to everyone else.  The week of yoga taught me that, as I huffed and puffed and cursed in a room full of talented yogis who all seemed so much stronger, flexible and 'together' than me, but of course I know nothing of their journey and how far they have come.

I'm ready to get back on with the next stage of my own life adventure, and I have a rough idea now of what steps I'm going to put in place to help me along the way in 2016. There will no doubt be many curveballs ahead to make me swerve off my path, but as in the business world, I'm hoping that my annual self-appraisal will make me better equipped to deal with them.

Me and the Ashtanga Yoga Dubai crew with the amazingly talented Mark Robberds.

2016 already?

It appears that another year has passed by and we are already racing through a new one. It doesn't really seem possible and I am left with a slightly dazed and confused feeling about what I actually achieved in 2015.  I certainly didn't manage to find any time in the last 6 months to update my blog! Before the same happens in 2016, I'm trying to take a little time out for planning and reflection before diving back in to the daily routine, but this only seems to be creating a slight sense of anxiety that I've been muddling through life without focus for too long. I'm also trying to find some time to renew my inspiration for yoga. Don't get me wrong, I still love it every time I step on the mat, but it's been 2 years since I qualified now and I am feeling in need of a boost. I guess I'm sharing this because it highlights to me that yoga, like life, is a journey that has ups and downs, moments of triumph, moments of failure, laughter, tears, pain and pleasure. It is not perfect, even if the carefully selected pictures on Instagram make it seem that way! 

Perhaps I am spoilt, and need to live more in the moment. I am certainly aware of how lucky I am, and how churlish it seems to find things to complain about in my life. When I was at university a boyfriend told me once during an argument that I would never be happy, because the minute I had achieved something, I was dissatisfied with it and looking forward to the next problem, predicting a set-back or setting out to achieve something new. It hurt at the time, sometimes it still does, but it is a part of myself that I try to manage positively now. Without goals and without taking action every day to achieve them, I feel flat, dissatisfied and unfocused, so I know it is important for me to take the time to address this. However, it needs to be balanced with enjoying the moment and forcing myself not to constantly push on to the next idea or project the moment that it occurs to me. 

Yoga has helped me a great deal with this, and I am committed to keeping it that way. I live in fear of slipping back entirely into self-destructive old habits, rather than keeping sight of what makes me tick and how to manage it. The space for reflection and self-realisation that yoga gives you, can be the first step towards accepting who you are and expose both the confines and potential of your personality, enabling you to get the best out of life. That's why I need to make sure further study and the development of my own practice remains a priority. 

That said, I fully expect to make the same mistakes as last year and end up over-committing, rushing around, saying yes to everything, being constantly late and ending up stressed and frazzled, feeling disappointed when it all goes wrong and taking these frustrations out on others. But just maybe, if I can continue working on finding the positives out of these traits and finding ways to use them to my advantage, 2016 will turn into the happiest year yet.

Homeward bound

So I am just about to pack up and head home to the UK for the summer.  It has been over 40 degrees for the last week of the school run, so it is safe to say that I am more than ready to go back to Blighty for a little light drizzle.  I honestly can't wait to spend some time with friends and family, take advantage of the long hours of sunlight, drop in to some of my favourite yoga classes, browse the aisles of familiar supermarkets and slowly eat my way through all the food I have missed.  However, I will also miss my new home from home here and know I will be glad to return. 

I have learnt a lot in the past 12 months about my practice, my values and my preconceptions which have been challenged on a daily basis.  Living in a multi cultural society opens up your eyes to so many new worlds.  I have met some wonderful people, made many firm friends and have already had to say goodbye to some of them.  The life of an ex pat is a transient one, but I will have to learn to be happy for the time we have spent together and not be too sad when people leave again.  

It has also been a joy to build up my yoga classes here and share my love of the practice with people from so many different backgrounds.  I have grown a lot as a teacher and had many laughs along the way.  I have also met some very inspiring and lovely teachers and I feel very blessed to be part of this growing community of awesome Abu Dhabi yogis. 

Namaste to each and every one of you.  You are all amazing.

Keep practising over the summer and I look forward to rolling out our mats again together in September.

X

An Arabic Spring

Things have been feeling spring-like here for the last couple of weeks, so although officially the grass doesn't riz till the 21st March I've decided to get started early.  It actually reminds me of springtime at home.  There is a cool breeze blowing and there have even been a couple of showers here and there. In between the dusty sandstorms that signal the change of season the sun is shining, the air is clean and fresh and it's lovely, but I know that the days are warming up and it won't be long now before the brain melting heat returns so it's time to stretch out my limbs and detoxify as much of my life as possible whilst the going is good.  Here's my plan...

My spring yoga practice will be focused on grounding through the feet but keeping things flexible in the upper body with lots of side stretches and twists. In spring seasonal yoga focuses on cleansing out the liver and the gall-bladder.  The meridians for these organs run up and down the side of the body and inner leg.  Great postures to build into the practice to stimulate these channels include horse stance, side plank, triangle, revolved triangle, half lord of the fishes pose and wide angled forward fold to stretch the legs, wring out the internal organs and narrow the waist.  The liver and gall-bladder also connect to the eyes, so pay attention to your dristi points and build more balances into your practice.  Tree pose (vikrasana) is the perfect asana for connecting with the wood energy of Spring - grounding the standing leg for strong roots, stimulating the liver meridian by pushing the foot into the side of the leg, engaging uddiyana bandha to narrow the waist, lifting the chest to keep the upper body light, long and flexible and fixing your gaze to stimulate the eyes (and stop yourself from falling over!)

Time to make like a tree.

I'm also spending as much time as possible outside whilst I can and making an effort to try new things.  A walk along the sea-front, yoga on the balcony, camping, I've even tried my hand, or rather balance, at stand-up paddle boarding which I absolutely loved.  Whatever you do, set yourself a new challenge, feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your face and enjoy the rewards.

The other big theme of spring is detox, so I'll be focusing on a different area of my life each week to try and de-clutter and clean up my act as follows:

Week 1: the physical body. Have a home spa day with a detoxing bath and body scrub. Light some candles, burn some cleansing essential oils - grapefruit is a great one. Book a massage to get rid of your toxins and enjoy yourself. Spend some time in a steam room or sauna, use natural paraben-free beauty products on your skin. Remind yourself that detoxing can actually be quite nice!

Week 2: your surroundings. Don't fight the urge to spring clean, embrace it! Your Granny was right, a tidy house does equal a tidy mind.  I've already cleaned out my wardrobe, and by next week hope to be strong enough to tackle the kitchen cupboards! Do it bit by bit and it's not too awful and you will automatically feel less cluttered and stressed ready to get started on all your plans.  

Week 3: goal setting.  What do you want to achieve this year? Write a list, create a mood board, start a journal to track your progress, whatever works for you. Dream big or think small, whatever you would like to change in your life spend time pondering it and put some steps in place that will help you get a little bit closer to your goals in the year ahead.

Week 4: diet.  Throughout the month I will be trying to cut back on all things toxic and eating more vegetarian meals with plenty of spring greens. Caffeine, refined sugar, alcohol are all on my list of things to have less of and at the end of the month I'll go the extra mile and fully clean up my act for the whole week.  There are plenty of detox plans out there that you can follow but my advice would be build up to it, be sensible, don't expect miracles, and pick a regime that you will have a hope of enjoying.  You may feel rubbish for the first couple of days, but by the end you will feel great.  

Easy peasy.  By the end of the season I hope to be eating better, feeling better, looking better, sleeping better and generally have more energy and focus.  What's not to love about spring-time?

Key Seasonal Points:

Season - spring
Dates - 21st March - 21st May
Organs - Liver & gall-bladder
Colour - green
Element - wood

For more information on Seasonal Yoga check out Energy in Season: 5 Keys to Vitality by the amazing and inspirational Susan Woodd and Julie Hanson.

Lessons from Goa

Tim 'easy rider' Feldmann and his yoga groupies

I have just returned from two weeks of study at the beautiful Purple Valley Yoga retreat in Goa. What an amazing trip!  My teachers were Kino MacGregor and Tim Feldmann, ably assisted by the amazing Santina Giardana-Chard and Erin Morris, who gave their all to provide the perfect environment to delve deeper into our understanding and appreciation of the Ashtanga practice.  As always on a yoga retreat, the lessons I have learned are far different from the ones I had imagined.  No matter how much I tell myself to practice non-attachment and try to let go of expectations when embarking on something like this, the ego is always in the background, saying 'Yeah, but it would be great if you could come back doing handstands and wrapping your leg round your neck.'  Of course, this was not to be, and the universe was quick to remind me of that when I broke my toe on day two.  However, after I dried my tears, strapped my toe up and got back on the mat, here are some of the things I learned instead:

1.  I need to be more patient, with myself and with others. There is a reason that Pattabhi Jois was fond of saying 'Practice and all is coming'.  When I was forced to take my time, listen to my body and try to put in the effort where I most needed to, I got so much further.

2. I quite like being a vegetarian.  After two weeks of amazing meat free, raw food, I feel great and am seriously considering how to incorporate more vegetarian and vegan meals into my weekly repertoire.  I snuck out to have fish a couple of times when I was feeling like my protein levels had dipped and I was low on energy, but I didn't miss meat and my body felt much lighter and happier as a result.

3. I may not be the bendiest, skinniest, most spiritual or most talented yogi out there, but I love my practice and want to commit more of my life to learning about all things yoga and passing that knowledge on to others.  I believe yoga opens up a whole new way of looking at ourselves and the world around us and feel very lucky to have this perspective shaping tool in my life.

Living the dream- headstands on the beach

4.  Ashtanga works.  My love/hate relationship with the practice continues and it was only on the final day of Mysore class that I felt my body beginning to open up and a little bit of light flooding in to the dark places inside me that don't work so well. This made me both happy and terrified - ashtanga yoga is an addictive thing, when you crack things open a little you are compelled to keep going for fear that they will shut right back up again the minute you stop. But...

5. ... For me there is still more than a little room for other types of yoga practice.  I believe that the body needs different things at different times, and sometimes you need to back off to work on a different aspect of your practice - physically and emotionally - to keep yourself healthy, balanced and on the right track.

6.  As one of life's natural sceptics I remain suspicious of 'alternative' medicine.  However, I like to try and keep an open mind and am always curious about such things, so I was first in the queue for an auyurvedic consultation.  I was told that I am Pitta Dosha, but that my Vatta was disturbed and recommended a week of massages and detoxing enemas to clear up my toxins and rebalance my body.  This sounded like an interesting experiment so I signed up immediately.  By the end of the week I was feeling pretty good, although I was unsure if this was the holiday, the food, the yoga, the treatment or all of the above.  I was still feeling sceptical until I stopped to read more about the typical Pitta person and it rang many bells with me.  I don't believe that Auyurveda is a cure all, but I am certainly now more of the persuasion that there is something in it that is worth exploring as part of the eternal quest for health and happiness.

7. India is the wonderful, mad, colourful place I hoped it would be.  Go with an open mind and an open heart and you will not leave disappointed.

8.   When you practice yoga you meet many crazy, mixed up people, and you very quickly realise that nobody is perfect. But you will be hard pressed to find human beings who are more generous in the way that they share all sides of themselves with you.  This trip reminded me that we are all multi-faceted creatures with different talents, flaws, imperfections, issues and personalities and we all have something to give that people can learn from when we stop to look for it.  I met some wonderful teachers and students from the four corners of the globe and I am extremely grateful for the inspirational time I spent with them.   Thank you to everyone who made the last two weeks so special.

Namaste xx

The gang in all their glory.

Down with New Year's Resolutions! A winter yoga guide to starting 2015.

2015 seems to be running away from me already, so I thought I'd better post a New Year winter blog post before spring is sprung.

The end of the festive season always brings a fair measure of guilt and sadness for me, as I contemplate the year ahead with clothes that are tighter than before, an empty bank balance and a long wait until we see our family again.  This year is no exception, although of course the family is even further away.  However, for the first time since records began the sun continues to shine on me in January and I am also about to go to Goa for 2 weeks of Ashtanga yoga, so there is even hope that my jeans may fit again before June!

What I dislike most about this time of year is the pressure everyone suddenly puts on themselves to make major life changes, shed weight through miracle diets and become instantly happier.  It is no wonder that everyone is depressed by February when it turns out we like wine and biscuits just as much as last year, our boss is still horrible and there are bills to pay.  I for one, have given up New Year's Resolutions, and instead try to relax a little bit.  I may take some time to think about a few goals I might like to achieve in the year ahead, but I will put the serious planning and life changes aside until I feel like my brain and body has got back into gear after all the late nights and over indulgence.  Like everyone I am trying to be healthier now that the celebrations are over, but that means cutting back on the rubbish without putting pressure on myself to give up eating entirely.  At this time of year we need to nurture and protect our bodies, giving them time to rest and recover, so my advice is to give up the detox for now and have an early night instead.  Read some nice books, dream some big dreams and let 2015 start to take shape around you rather than forcing it to be something it is not.  I honestly think this the key to beating the winter blues.

Time to hibernate in child's pose.

Winter yoga and Chinese medical theory supports this concept - probably why it's one of my favourite seasons to teach as I like when I am proven right!  Practice should be slow and flowing.  Hold postures for longer (indulge your desire to stay in balasana for as long as you need to - see picture on right) and incorporate lot's of forward folds and back bends to keep the spine moving whilst stimulating the kidney and bladder meridians that run up and down the front and back of the body. Try the following asana's to relieve stress and anxiety and beat fatigue: Uttanasana (standing forward fold), Pachimottonasana (seated forward fold), Dhanurasana (bow posture) and Bandha Konasana (bound angle pose)

Here's a quick 5 minute flow to do each morning to get things going:

MLH Yoga: Winter Flow

In your diet, comfort foods are fine as long as they are healthy! If you're in a cold climate keep things warm and hearty with stews and soups that include lots of spices, root vegetables and alkaline forming greens and avoid drinking too much, especially things that are cold to protect the kidneys.  Here, where it is cooler but still warm, I don't really fancy a shepherd's pie, so instead am trying to focus on eating more seasonal foods and keeping things clean by cutting back on too much sugar, salt and caffeine.

It's also a good time of year to try some meditation, so take 5 minutes each day just to sit and focus on your breath. Feel each inhale and exhale as it passes through your body; nostrils, throat, chest, ribs and abdomen. Let go of any stress or tension, relax and be at peace with yourself and the world around you.  To me this seems a much better way to begin 2015 and every new year.

Winter information:

Dates: 21st December - 20th March
Colour: Blue
Element: Water
Organs: Kidneys and bladder

For more information on Seasonal Yoga check out Energy in Season: 5 Keys to Vitality by the amazing and inspirational Susan Woodd and Julie Hanson.

The End of Autumn

The end of Autumn approaches and what have I learnt? 

1. Autumn in the Middle East is lovely - no pretty changing leaves, but warm days and cooler mornings and evenings leave everyone feeling happy and relaxed. I've even be able to go for walks along the beach and eat outside without melting. Being able to reconnect with the world around me, rather than hiding from the heat inside has made me feel so much better.

2. Feeling healthy - only one minor viral infection for me this autumn. Maybe I have just been lucky, but I'd like to think the autumnal practice has played it's part.

3. Can it nearly be time for Christmas? The autumn season lasts until December 21st and normally I would have been itching to start winter practice and go into hibernation by now, but here I have been happy to keep things more active. The tree may be up, but I'm going to stay in denial and sit this one out to the last minute!

4. I've been feeling the autumn vibe of thriving with routine and have really enjoyed feeling more settled in the daily flow of our family life here, but at the same time I have found I haven't wanted to stick to one type of practice.  Yoga every day, yes (more or less), but some week's I've loved seasonal flow, others Ashtanga, then latterly I've really enjoyed focusing in on different parts of the body and working on them.  Hips, feet, shoulders have all had their turn and I've loved observing the different effects these practices have on my body and mind.  Routine without rigidity has definitely been the theme of Autumn for me.

5. Diet....hmmm, struggled with this one. I reckon I'm averaging 4 days good, 3 days bad but now the weather is cooler my juicer is being used less and the voice in my head that craves a coffee in the morning, wine in the evening and a sweet fix after every meal is back! I've come up with a few strategies, snacks & recipes to minimise the damage but some days the lure of the biscuit tin has been too hard to resist. Maybe next Autumn...

Late summer - coming home when you're not sure where home is.

It's late summer and seasonal yoga practice at this time of year is all about reconnecting with the earth, grounding and coming home.  Although it is still pretty hot here, this concept is certainly ringing true for me after a prolonged period of disturbance because of the big move.  Even if you haven't uprooted your whole life, there is still a feeling at this time of year of needing to settle down again.  Summer holidays are over, the schools are back and it's time to atone for all the fun and excess of the last few months and get back to a 'normal' routine.  Here's how you can tune into this natural feeling and help your body and mind to feel nourished and reconnected to your surroundings.

Diet - it's still hot here and harvest season certainly doesn't feel the same for me this year, but there are plenty of good foods in the shops coming in from all directions to remind us of natures bounty. Go for foods that reflect the colour of the season (a warm yellow) and make space on your plate for things like peaches, nectarines, squash, dates, sweet potato and apples for natural sweetness. Start building up the bodies immunity by including spices like ginger and turmeric in your diet and keep things warm but light. Try to take time to eat your food slowly and appreciate your meal. It helps the digestion and stops you over eating. Breakfast time is especially important at this time of year as that is when the stomach and spleen are at their strongest.

Exercise - reconnect with the earth by getting outside more. This is getting easier here now that the evenings and mornings are slightly cooler, so go for a walk, hop on a bike or take your yoga mat outside!  Yoga asanas should focus on grounding, hip openers, and strengthening our core to stimulate the stomach and spleen meridians and boost the lymphatic system which will help fight off all the back to school/work germs that are heading our way.  Add some lunges, squats and inversions to your practice and work hard to keep uddiyana bandha engaged by drawing the navel back and up towards the spine. Key poses to try at this time of year are:  Eka Pada Rajakapotasana (half pigeon), Navasana (boat), Setu Bandhasa (Bridge) and Bandha Konasana (bound angle posture).

Here's a link to me practicing some of these poses:

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=605390602905678

Mind - Take some time to do something nice for yourself every day. Read a book, have a massage, go for a walk. It doesn't have to be a big thing, but by taking five minutes to make sure we are looked after, we fill up our reserves and can give so much more time and energy to others.

Body - stimulate the lymphatic system by rubbing an oil or lotion into the skin after your shower in upwards strokes towards the heart, but try to make sure you're using a natural product to avoid clogging up your system. The key at this time of year is to nourish your body from the outside in and the inside out!

Key Seasonal Points:

Season - late summer

Dates - 21st August to 20th October

Organs - stomach and spleen

Colour - yellow

Element - earth

New beginnings

So we are finally settled in Abu Dhabi after relocating from sunny Scotland and it is time to get my yoga pants on and get back on the mat.

I've already been doing a bit of teaching, which I'm really enjoying and, as always, have found that yoga is a great way of making friends fast.  My ego is also busy loving how much more flexible I am in the heat!  As part of my new adventure I decided it would be good to blog about my attempts to apply the ethos of seasonal yoga practice to a place where it is hot all year round, tight clothes are frowned upon, and wealth often seems to be more important than health. It's going to be an interesting journey!

At the beginning of each season I'll be posting some yoga, diet and lifestyle information and some thoughts on how these might translate here. Then at the end I'll reflect on how well it's worked, and what I've learnt.  No doubt there will also be some interesting stories along the way, but that's the bit I'm looking forward to!

So here's the new plan (it's really the same as the old plan only the picture is more relevant now):

Namaste.