Perhaps I am spoilt, and need to live more in the moment. I am certainly aware of how lucky I am, and how churlish it seems to find things to complain about in my life. When I was at university a boyfriend told me once during an argument that I would never be happy, because the minute I had achieved something, I was dissatisfied with it and looking forward to the next problem, predicting a set-back or setting out to achieve something new. It hurt at the time, sometimes it still does, but it is a part of myself that I try to manage positively now. Without goals and without taking action every day to achieve them, I feel flat, dissatisfied and unfocused, so I know it is important for me to take the time to address this. However, it needs to be balanced with enjoying the moment and forcing myself not to constantly push on to the next idea or project the moment that it occurs to me.
Yoga has helped me a great deal with this, and I am committed to keeping it that way. I live in fear of slipping back entirely into self-destructive old habits, rather than keeping sight of what makes me tick and how to manage it. The space for reflection and self-realisation that yoga gives you, can be the first step towards accepting who you are and expose both the confines and potential of your personality, enabling you to get the best out of life. That's why I need to make sure further study and the development of my own practice remains a priority.
That said, I fully expect to make the same mistakes as last year and end up over-committing, rushing around, saying yes to everything, being constantly late and ending up stressed and frazzled, feeling disappointed when it all goes wrong and taking these frustrations out on others. But just maybe, if I can continue working on finding the positives out of these traits and finding ways to use them to my advantage, 2016 will turn into the happiest year yet.
